sometimes when you lose... you win

I'm sorry, babe, but there's some things I have to say and I've only got a few moments left. I'm sorry for all the things I'll never give you. I'll never buy you another meatball sub with extra sauce--that was a big one! I'll never make you smile. I just wanted us to be old together; just two old farts laughing at each other as our bodies fell apart...together in the end by that lake in your painting. That was our Heaven, see? There's lots of things to miss: books...naps, kisses...and fights! God we had some good ones...thank you for those. Thank you for every kindness. Thank you for our children...for the first time I saw them. Thank you for being someone I was always proud to be with. For your guts. For your sweetness. For how you always looked, for how I always wanted to touch you. You were my life. I'm sorry for every time I ever failed you....especially this one